I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize