you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
