We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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