Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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