someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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