Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
