There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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