You really coming over, don't trick.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
