so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
