'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
