My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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