Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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