he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
