1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
