I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
