I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
