He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
