yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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