i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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