I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
