so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
