Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
