Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
