they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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