Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

What should our trivia night team be named?

(925): View more from California

Define Statutory

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(206): What should our trivia night team be named? (925): Define Statutory http://tfl.nu/hrvk

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(209): View more from California

AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.

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(209): AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now. http://tfl.nu/g0pf

Replies (22) Good night (891) Bad night (3166)
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(302): View more from Delaware

some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period

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(302): some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period http://tfl.nu/2c6q

Replies (33) Good night (2424) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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(719): View more from Colorado

new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge

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(719): new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge http://tfl.nu/dui0

Replies (13) Good night (2949) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.

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(406): That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays. http://tfl.nu/wjf7

Replies (25) Good night (4759) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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(412): I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum http://tfl.nu/2gzo

Replies (6) Good night (3805) Bad night (1001) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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(570): i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off. http://tfl.nu/1gub

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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(734): I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out. http://tfl.nu/oiev

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(210): View more from Texas

i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.

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(210): i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories. http://tfl.nu/3qfj

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(254): View more from Texas

Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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(254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2

Replies (9) Good night (3784) Bad night (846)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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(501): And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool" http://tfl.nu/agbu

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(254): View more from Texas

I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him

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(254): I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him http://tfl.nu/r8ta

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(712): View more from Iowa

He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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(712): He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza" http://tfl.nu/tedt

Replies (6) Good night (339) Bad night (998)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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(734): Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator. http://tfl.nu/c745

Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (269)
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(727): View more from Florida

I felt guilty, it was so good!

(1-727): View more from Florida

Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.

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(727): I felt guilty, it was so good! (1-727): Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/6lic

Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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