Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life