i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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