if i can run in heels then i can drive
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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