she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize