some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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