Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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