is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
