someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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