I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
