thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
