I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
