Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

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(239): View more from Florida

it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

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(910): View more from North Carolina

For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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(567): View more from Ohio

She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.

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