What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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