part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?