i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize