I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
