So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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