So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
