I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
