Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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