Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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