PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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