Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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