He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this boner is exhausting
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
