Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
