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You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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