It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
