oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
