make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
