"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
