He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
