I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
