sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
