Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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