your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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