I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
