I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
