Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
how drunk are you?
Several
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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