hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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