I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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