I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
