I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Randomize
