just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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